So, for this post, I'm going to need you all to channel Clark W. Griswold. So, I'm pulling out of my driveway at zero miles an hour. I'm watching behind me because I have to be very careful how I pull out since our fence borders our driveway in the back and so if I swerve even a snitch I'll take out my own fence. On the radio (this is not a lie) "Happy holiday, Happy holiday, May the calendar keep bringing happy holidays to you." All of the sudden, my car is just JOLTED, I mean rocked like a baby with colic.
I look behind me and see nothing. I put on the e-brake thinking "I'm not far enough out of my driveway to have it a trash can." I look to the right. Nothing. I look to the left to find a car that had sped down the alley behind our house SO FAST that she couldn't even pull her car to a stop until she was cleanly in front of the house next door to mine.
Her front fender was crumpled back showing the scars of functionally side swiping my bumper. Oh, and her hubcap had popped off and was resting soundly (what was left of it) in my drive way.
This sweet little sister (not so much) then pranced herself out of the car and confessed the following two things:
1. This happened to me in our last neighborhood. (Things that came to mind to say: 1. "Does it count as 'happening to you' if you're the one that causes it?" and 2. "Genius, learn your lesson and stop barrelling down the blind alley!")
2. I just didn't see you. I completely didn't see you. (Things that came to mind to say: 1. "Well did you see what was on your ipod which you were fiddling with when you Kabloooied poor innocent Reginald?" and 2. "I hope the song was good b/c it's gonna cost you!")
And worse! Poor Adam still suffering from back trauma hears the sound (and heaven can only imagine what he must have thought happened) has to haul his stricken carcass out to survey the damage. Luckily the appraiser saw my car this afternoon and felt optimistic that it couldn't be my fault. I heart him.
And the photo? While this isn't my trusty car Reggie, it's an accurate represenatation of how he feels this afternoon. Get well cards to Reggie are totally appropriate. :)
6 comments:
Okay first of all....please don't ever post a picture like that without FIRST explaining that's not your car. Scared the crap out of me even though I know that's not what your car looks like. Second, please send my sympathies to Reggie. Third, I think tomorrow you should just stay in bed, both of you. Good things DO NOT happen when ya'll try to function. I'm just looking at the recent track record here.
Lois, you are hilarious. Thanks for advising us to stay in bed to avoid further troubles. Best advice I've gotten in years! ;)
Tamara was awesome this morning, though. Seriously, anyone reading this needs to experience a traumatic event with her sometime. She handles those situations with the wittiest sarcasm I've ever been around. How lucky can I be? She's beautiful, smart, AND HIGHlarious!
That totally stinks, but I'm glad that you are okay and that it wasn't our fault. I hope that Reggie is feeling better soon!
Reggie's the name of your car?? Was it an old boyfriend? I name my cars after the girl I was dating when I got them. Helps keep memories tied to specific cars. Anyways - give my regards to Reggie. An old lady swiped "Angie" once - I was so mad I nearly punched her face.
Adam, feel free to fill Tamara in about poor little "Dark Helmet," who met his destiny at the hands of young Obi-Wan Drunk-Driver.
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