In about 3 tenths of a second, I realized that face was headed directly for my head. No, I'm completely dead serious. This mad crazy bird was dive bombing me. Total Kamikaze. I practically hit the deck and took crash position. I completely panicked. I mean, in which of my college general eds was I prepared to defend myself from the attacks of a rabid bird. I had no idea what to do. Each time I got up and tried to carry on my way, the attack would resume.
Well, the long story short is after what seemed like an eternity (and in reality was probably 30 seconds or so) I had had enough of trying to outrun the crazy beast and the bird had made it clear that it was not concerned about my best efforts to whack him with my spastic arm waving. This thing was relentless in its pursuit to obliterate me (Yes, I'm aware that the bird was probably like 1 1/4 lbs in total body weight but that is beside point. Did I mention that I'm pretty sure it had rabies?)
I did the only thing I could think of. I threw my Ipod at it. And then my cell phone. Yep, that's right. Both of them, hurled at the maniacal freak. I was certain that that would put an end to the madness. I WAS WRONG!! The bird was just crazy before this move. Now the bird was crazy and mad as all get out. Well, my fight or flight reflex had used up its first option so flight was my only option. I tore out of the park and ran straight home and into my room where I woke Adam up and scared the bejabbers out of him before I could explain that the reason I was hysterical was because we needed to go to the park to reclaim my phone that I was too chicken (no pun intended) to retrieve in the middle of my bird throwdown. Fortunately, he was kind enough to not openly mock me and instead braved the bird (who incidentally did NOT dive bomb him) and reclaimed my phone.
Seriously? Who does this kind of ridiculosity happen to? I wish it had been videotaped. It would be hilarious to see again.
15 comments:
See, it's obvious. The bird was extremely jealous of your fantastic hair. Adam, while having pretty good hair, it wasn't quite enough to make him jealous. Simple, really.
That is hilarious! I can just picture the whole scenario going down! I'm glad that you're okay and that you got your phone back. What about your ipod?
Ouch!! I laughed so hard when I read this (and laughing hurts after a c-section). I wish I could have seen you throwing your precious electronics at the bird. That is so something I would do in that situation. I mean who cares about a phone when you are being attacked by a maniac bird?
Oh please, oh please, oh please let there be a prying neighbor with a video camera at the ready! I'm watching out on YouTube all day for this to show up!
PS... why would you abuse your cell phone and ipod!?! Really! Technology doesn't deserve to take the beating for this!
ever seen Hitchcock's "Birds"????
I still have nightmares from that movie...
That is hilarious! I almost cried. I think I would have pulled off my shoes and tried swatting the thing in between them. It must have been jelous.
This is hilarious. I'm sending the story to my Bff who has a mortal fear of birds. She was running in a park in SLC when she was dive-bombed by a flock of birds. To this day she can not watch "The Birds" and panics anytime a bird comes near her.
Only you Lindsay, only you...
You threw your phone at a bird?? This is priceless. Someone had to catch this on video. Glad to hear that you're safe!
HYSTERICAL!!!! Big Lots is selling the Alfred Hitchcock "The Birds" barbie (I know...who knew?) -- of course, she is dressed pristinely and has perfect hair even though there is big, black bird perched on her head.
crazy! and so unfair that it didn't attack adam as well. maybe next time...
Have you seen the Proposol yet? Flying hawk and cell phone have a close encounter there too.
Wow, HAHA! I've had a different kind of "divebomb" encounter with birds (if you know what I mean) but not this. I would recommend just rolling yourself in a hard bubble like a gerbil or something. Those things are virtually peck-proof. Anyway, hope you and your electronic equipment/weaponry are OK.
On an unrelated note, I'm desperately looking for something to break up the summer tedium of working and...well, more working. So, consider this fair warning that I'm looking to come down that way before late August. :) Hopefully that works for you.
That kind of stuff happens to me to Tamara! Just not with birds...mostly it's giant flying bugs.
I wish you wouldn't make up such crazy stories to make it seem like your life is so much more interesting than everyone else's - I mean really - it's pathetic. P.S. when are you coming back?
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