M&A Humor, Anyone?

Found these online. My guess is 1 out of 10 of you will find these at least marginally entertaining...

In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest corporate mergers we can expect to see:

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become "Hale Mary Fuller Grace".

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become "Polly-Warner-Cracker."

3M and Goodyear merge to become "MMMGood."

John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become "Deere Abi."

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become "Zip Audi Do Da."

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become "Honey I'm Home."

Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become "Mine All Mine."

Federal Express and UPS merge to become "FED UP"

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become "Fairwell Honeychild"

3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become "3 Penney Opera"

Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants will merge and becomes "Poupon Pants"

Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become "Knott NOW!"

Cessna Aircraft and the Whirlpool Corporation are merging to form "Cesspool."

The day I lost all pride...

Well, I guess since you folks are friends of mine, it's safe to share this with you. For the backdrop behind the humiliation of my lifetime, I take you to a video arcade. No, that's right. I said a video arcade.

So, I got to go along with my friend Lois on a scavengar hunt her husband had set up for her birthday. It was hilarious and a lot of fun until this... Our last stop was at a video arcade. Did I have to beat the Dragon/ Firebreathing Turtle on Supermario Bros to save the Princess and get the prize at the hunt's end? No. Did I have to get the little frog across the road without getting splatted by the cars? Negatory.

Indeed, I had to milk a mechanical cow. AND I had to have my pictured taken in doing it. And that, Saturday, November 18, 2007 was the day my pride died.

Tagging - the revenge

I was tagged by Sarah ( who was my college roommate and is, incidentally, one of those freakish people who keeps getting cuter every time I see her) with this brand new kind of survey so here goes. The rules go like this:

1. List the link to your tagger and also post these following rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird, etc.
3. Tag 7 people at the the end of your blog also leaving the links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are “TAGGED” by leaving a comment on their blog.

Since my Tagger didn't follow rules 1 and 4, I won't either. And with that, here are top 7 random facts about Tamara.

1. I am a college football junkie. Since I was a little girl, my family has had tickets to UCLA football games. Those long afternoons spent at the Rose Bowl are some of my favorite. And secretly, whenever a UCLA game is on TV out here in Texas, I still call my dad and we watch the game together on speaker phone and proudly do the 8-clap on the phone so we can pretend that we're still watching the game together. I blame my dad for the fact that New Year's Day means nothing more to me than football, football and more football.

2. If I had my way, I would be a writer professionally. I've toyed with different genres and each one proves to be more inviting to me than the last. I'm always embarassed to have someone read my original compositions because I know there are so many amazing writers out there and I know I would have a lot of editing ahead of me and it might hurt my pride. It seems presumptuous of me to fancy myself anywhere near as amazing one of the literary masters I adore but in my wildest dreams, I imagine myself quitting my job and spending time in the early morning light sipping chamomile tea and agonizing over the final twist in my best selling novel.

3. I used to do commercials and TV shows. Nothing spectacular and I will never be famous. My largest claim to fame was I was the stunt girl for the little girl in Adventures in Babysitting. The joke of all those years spent in front of the camera is that I hated every second of it. I was terrified of auditions, I was embarassed during rehearsals and I somehow managed to blush at all the most inconvenient times.

4. I secretly idolize the Abigail Adams. In fact, I am a junkie for biographies about anyone who was involved in early American politics. One of my favorites was His Excellency (which is George Washington's biography) and, although we all know how the story went, I still cried when he died at the end. I also loved John Adams' biography as well as Benjamin Franklin's. 1776 was also noteworthy and if anyone needs to have a nerd moment, I'm happy to let you borrow any of those works.

5. I have a viceral objection to making homemade bread in a bread maker. I know it's easier to do it that way and I even know that it still tastes pretty good. In my opinion, though, the texture of Grandma's bread will never be right until it has been kneaded with my own two hands until it is perfectly springy and deliciously light. Ask Grandma. She'll back me up.

6. I'm pathetically nostalgic. I can hardly speak of my family or my favorite memories without crying. It embarasses me. I get homesick really easily. I can sit and look at old pictures or reminisce with my brother that lives here close and never get sick of it. I have a feeling I will definitely be that old lady who talks and talks and talks for decades about the good old days because, let's be honest, I'm guilty of it even now.

7. I don't like sweet potatoes, dressing or pumpkin pie. With Thanksgiving coming, I thought I should disclose that because I realize it's un-American and so those of you who can no longer be friends with me can just make that known right now.

And now, I get to tag the next victims. So, in no particular order, I tag Molly, Stephanie Lisonbee, Lois, Stephanie Ryan, Doug and Dr. Findley. Off you go, guys!

Halloween's over but the fun goes on.

I know this is a little late but Adam and I went to the Dallas Arboretum with the nieces and nephew and my brother and sister in law. It was a perfect fall day and we had such a fun time with the girls. Is it me or does it seem like everything is more fun with the little ones around? Anyway, for those of you who don't stalk my family's blog and haven't already seen these, (*cough*LOIS*) here are the pictures of our outing. I have to echo what my friend Rebecca said ...there's nothing cuter than guys with babies. The girls seem to just adore adam and the feeling is definitely mutual. He hung out with them all day and showed them around.
This was inside a ginormous TeePee (sp?) and there were all these animal skins everywhere. We may need to sign Brooke up for PETA b/c I'm not sure she was down with these. There was this awesome house of pumpkins and a giant pumpkin that this one dude was carving. I am in love with the fact that here in Dallas, Fall means 75 degrees. I can't seem to find it in my heart to miss the snow...ever! If anyone is feeling in a fall mood and wants to head over to the arboretum, call me. I am in love with the weather these days and I can't seem to get enough pumpkin anything! MMMmmm, pumkin....If you'll excuse me, I seem to feel an uncontrollable urge to whip up some pumpkin bars.

Oldie but Goodie

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Reid is 62 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Potty Humor?

Should I be weirded out that any time I enter the restroom here at work the same guy is in there? We're talking EVERY, single time! Seriously, this guy is always in the bathroom taking care of business. And one of the weirdest things is when he is in a stall, his feet always face the toilet, which leads one to believe he's facing it, but if you just go with me on this one, he doesn't sound like he should be facing the toilet.

And he is an eerie-looking gentleman--short, very pale (alomost yellow skin), glasses from the 60s, curly hair, pants at least 5 inches too short, walks very slowly, washes his hands for 10 minutes. Are you getting a good mental picture yet? I tried for months to get close enough to him to read the name on his badge so I could look him up and was only successful after about a dozen close calls (he definitely thinks I've broken the personal space man law).

Turns out he's a patent lawyer. I guess that explains it...

Trick or Treat!

Well, it was Halloween and my brother and sister in law (pictured below) were nice enough to let the auntie and uncle join them for a round of trick or treat. Here they are just before leaving to trick or treat. Aren't they a fun looking bunch? The blur is what happens when you attempt to take a picture with flash of two very restless two year olds.
Here's uncle Adam after a handful or two of fun sized candy bars...he was having a blast!
I just love this shot of Brooke in her carseat with all of the fluff just overwhelming her. Poor kids kept getting feathers in their mouths but the reaction of the neighbors when they saw the costumes was worth it ...(at least to those of us who DIDN'T have feathers in our mouths).
And here's the parting shot of the girls and Brandon at the last house we trick or treated. Can you imagine opening the door with these cuties standing out there? I'd have dumped the entire bowl of candy in their bags.
And we got home just in time to rest our tired, Halloween sock wearing feet. Happy Halloween everyone. What about you guys? What did you all do for Halloween? what were the best costumes you saw?